I don’t often go to speak on college campuses but when I do I’m struck by the questions I get. I should say that I consider it one of the goals of any interaction I have as a sex educator that the people I’m talking to have the opportunity to ask the questions they have. And ideally they get some kind of answer too! Of course asking questions can feel risky (thanks systemic oppression and sexual shame) so like most sex educators I give people a variety of ways of asking their questions.
When I go through their questions (which are sometimes emailed to me in advance and sometimes written down on index cards people get when they come into the room) what I’m struck by is what appears to be a huge gap in the content.
A lot of questions are about the g-spot. A lot of questions are about anal sex.
And a lot of questions are about virginity.
When I ask fellow sex educators who work more consistently with college students they say it’s about the same with them. I sometimes wish I could do the math quickly and show people just how many others in the room want to know about being a virgin (or often NOT being a virgin anymore). I know from my college health educator friends that there are lots of college students who consider themselves virgins.
I point this out sometimes by posing the question in the headline of this blog post to the group I’m speaking to. Because when you pose the question everyone thinks they know the answer. When in fact based on my experience I’d say that all three of these things is like the other. They all belong. At least in my world.
Since I have plenty of information about g-spots and anal sex, I thought it was time to turn some attention to virgins. Which we do this week.
- Defining Virginity
- How Many College Students Are Virgins?
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